A testimony....

So yesterday it was brought to my attention, that I would be asked to share my testimony with the congregation of my church tonight... I am indeed proud of me overcoming the obstacles I have, but I never thought that I was anywhere near ready to share it. However, I have decided to hit this blog on a more serious topic... I have been very skeptical, and have thought it over several times, and I feel as though sharing this may in fact be helpful to someone else out there with a similar circumstance... Therefore, Domestic Violence... There are so many facts, and assumptions on the topic, However, one can never truly know the extent of it until they have either known someone dealing with it, or lived through it..... I, have done both.....

Apart from what is commonly portrayed, domestic violence occurs more often than people think. In fact, every nine seconds, a domestic incident occurs. (FBI) And I can tell you that it is not taken as seriously as it should be. I was married for nearly 5 years, and more than half of it was spent making excuses for why my husband was the way he was. Problem is, there is no excuse. I am sharing this, because I strongly feel like it is important for anyone in a similar situation, to get out of it. A person, no matter what was said and/or done never deserves to be put down, or hit. EVER. And chances are... If your B/F, Husband, Significant other has hit you once, He's going to do it again.... If you are in a situation seemingly enough the same, stop trying to tell yourself that He/she will change... Apart from God, no one has the power to change anyone, and even then, they have to WANT to change... Unfortunately I was married to someone who did not want to therefore, never attempted to try.... It started off just more of an emotional kind of abuse, with signs of a controlling attitude... The First big red flags that I missed.... I listened to the "I'm Sorry's and I'll change" story countless times.... I would go and visit my family with the outer image that everything was just fine, and we were the perfect little couple. Inside, ... I was miserable. No one knew of the hurt I felt on a daily basis when I would be put down, and made to feel minuscule..... Prescription pills came into the picture, and made him more of... Well whatever he was... I have seen first hand how a drug problem can rip a family apart without the slightest hesitation. The problem got bigger, and became an addiction.... For anyone who is not aware, some pain pills are literally a man made heroin, and the withdrawals are just as bad when someone who is dependent goes without them. And during the time of my marriage, I watched as the addiction consumed him.... All of our money went to pills, when there was no money, whatever we had would be pawned or sold for a few lousy bucks, or even worse 1 pill..... We had nothing left... Not even each other. I was alone for more than half of the time I was married. My family and I have never been too close, and they never really knew what was going on. He began to keep me from my family, and making me think they didn't care either way. He placed his mother on a pedestal, and threw me and my son, to the side... They were attached at the hip. You see, they shared the habit.... The two of them would do anything, or hurt anyone if it meant they could get their hands on some. So more time passed, and we began to argue on a daily basis about the addiction he so quickly left us alone for. He would be gone for entire days in a neverending expedition for his next dose. but because he was out in the street wondering where his next fix would come from.... The more we argued, the angrier he got... The yelling, turned into threatening which then turned into pushing and shoving.... Until he went too far...

To make this long story short, I left, and came back a few times, but each time I was more miserable than the last. I was never happy, and felt that the "Christian" thing to do would be to just keep praying for him to change, and leave it up to God... Till I realized, that realistically, I didn't have the time to wait for this guy to grow up, and Christian or not, I felt as though I was gonna just sit back and be treated this way while Im waiting on some divine intervention? Who has that kind of time? I assure you, it would take nothing less of a divine intervention to change this cheezeball... And even THAT seemed like a stretch. So I decided that even if the big guy upstairs is gonna try to touch his heart, he was gonna have to find it first, and that could take some time.... So I left.... Done and over being with someone who didn't work, stayed in bed all day, didn't appreciate anything, didn't support his family, and didn't even acknowledge the fact that he had a child, and treated his wife like the dirt on his shoe was more important .... In my book, a man like that, ISN'T a man.... When I left with the mindset that I was through trying, It was Feb. of 09, but it was over long before that, but this guy just refused to let me leave! I say refused to let me, because in the event that I did he always seemed to find me. And then drag in anyone around me... So I moved farther away, and didn't tell anyone where I move, but apparently, not far enough cause what happened next was something I never Imagined..... ***Continued***.....